It turned out to be the worst deal I've ever made.

That night I went to the Apple retail site, and targeted the store that had stock in all three new 3G models, the 8GB, the 16GB white and the 16GB Black model. The website stated that they would open at 10am, so I set my alarm early and went to bed dreaming in 3G.

In the morning, I showed up at the Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City, NY at 9:30am thinking I'd get a decent place on line to begin my iPhone adventure. When I arrived, the store was already open and the line was 100 feet out the door.
Turning to the person in front of me I inquired, "Apple's website said the store was going to be open at 10?"
"They opened the store at 9am," he said with a shrug.
Since Apple's retail website was incorrect, I immediately wondered if their supply numbers were suspect, and cornered a Store Employee who was walking up and down the line handing out 3G brochures, and emphatically telling everyone that there would be no discounts for corporate accounts.

He assured me that they had plenty of stock, considering my position in line, and that I would be able to select my model of choice. When I inquired about the early opening, he just said they wanted to get an early start.

The line was not moving at any kind of rate, and before I knew it an hour went by with only about 15 feet of "progress." Looks like I'm going to be here a while. Everyone around me was quite affable and I soon found myself making small talk. The lad in front of me was in his mid-twenties, with longish dirty blonde hair, a black concert T-Shirt, and an easy laugh. He was already an AT&T customer and was rocking a Motorola Razr. The well-dressed, gentleman behind me, wearing a diamond-studded Rolex watch and donning a Turbin, had an original iPhone, and was looking forward to upgrading. When I asked him what new features he was most interested in, he wasn't really able to give me a concrete answer. I surmised that he just had The Technolust. A symptom that Apple has been capitalizing on since the debut of the original iPod.

Surveying the rest of the crowd, I saw people from many walks of life, not just the Apple evangelists that you would normally expect waiting several hours just for a new gadget. After a while, I got sick of standing and plopped down to read a new book. Just as I was falling deep into the plot, I was rudely awakened by a security person.
"You can't sit down!" A large-boned woman, wearing the typical Rent-A-Cop uniform, barked.
"What?" I looked up incrediously.
"You can't sit down, you have to stand."
"Is that your policy?"
"No, I've been instructed to not let anyone sit down."
"Who instructed you, Apple?"
"No, my boss."
"Where is he?" I inquired looking around.
"He's not in right now." Convenient.
"Well what's his name and phone number," I calmly asked. She told me and I dialed him right there. Voice Mail. I complained loudly about the policy, gave him my name and number, and hung up.
I then stood up, stretched my legs and then promptly sat back down. They never hassled me again.

Another hour went by and I moved to what seemed to be the halfway point. I immersed myself in my book for a while and then called Verizon to confirm (again) that the number I wanted to port to my new 3G was "ready, willing and able." The Verizon representative confirmed that all systems were go.

I finally made it to the front of the store where I was held up while they let about 10 people in at a time to the special 3G area of the store. The place was packed with people, not just buying iPhones, but engaged in buying computers, accessories and taking One-On-One lessons, which I personally think is the best deal right now in computing, but I digress.
When my group of 10 was finally let into the store a small Latin woman, slipped onto the tail of the line. I was a little far away to say anything, and I thought it was a pretty deft move so I just watched to see what happened. Nothing. She just saved 3 hours.

Finally, I was on deck when a portly young man with glasses and a shell-shocked look on his face asked, "Who's next?" I raised my hand and walked over to his "station" which was a table normally used to showcase MacBook Airs that had been reassigned as the adjunct 3G area. It looked more like a M.A.S.H. Triage unit than anything else, and there was absolutely no privacy. I was able to overhear several people's social security numbers and credit information without any problem. If you're an Idenity Thief, welcome to Apple's little slice of Heaven.

I told Mike that I wanted a Black 16GB and he promplty pulled one off the ramshackle shelf behind him. I told him my particulars and started inputing the data on the small hand-held, wireless "cash register." It took about ten minutes to complete the initial process and then he beamed the info off into the Activation Center ether, which promptly rejected the request. Mike had no idea what went wrong from the error codes, which prompted a call to AT&T. This first call took about 20 minutes of back and forth. Mike then "scratched" the first 16GB Black phone, put it on the side and grabbed another. See once the ICCID number, which identifies the phone via the SIM card, is rejected, the phone is rendered useless. Very sophisticated system.

Of course, we had to start the process all over again, which took another ten minutes of data input. Those mini wireless cash registers are a great idea for quickly checking out an iPod, but for a full on cell phone activation, they're painfully slow. Mike sent off the data again for Activation and well, you know the drill by now, rejected. Was it my credit card? No. My address? No. My billing address? No. The ported number? No.
Fact is, Mike had no clue what was going on and clearly didn't have enough training to trouble shoot the problem, so once again it required a call to the AT&T Mother Ship.

I noticed the guy who was in front of me on line. He was shopping for iPhone peripherals and was contemplating the MobileMe service. We caught eyes, and he came over. Reacting to my long face he inquired what was up.
"They can't seem to activate my iPhone."
"Bummer."
"How'd it go for you?"
"Took 15 minutes, but I'm already an AT&T customer." He gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and headed off into the mass feeding on the 3G accessory wall.

This time, Mike was on the phone for at least 40 minutes. Again, he scratched the iPhone, put it aside, and we started the whole process over. Address? Social Security number? Billing Zip code? Again, I provided all the information wondering why he hadn't memorized any of the information yet. Another ten minutes, another rejection.

Mike calls AT&T again. Now privvy to the innerworkings of the iPhone activation process, I'm wondering why there isn't at least one dedicated supervisor on hand to tackle tough activation problems. In fact, with the shear amount of sign-ups, Apple should have a Panic Team in place if difficult problems need to be escalated. Realization: Apple is ill-equipped to handle difficult activation issues.

Mike is literally on the phone with AT&T for 30 minutes when he puts me on the phone with the representative to give her my social security number for what feels like the twelfth time. I start trouble-shooting with her by asking pointed questions. It appears that Mike keeps entering the wrong billing address for the account (it must be the same address that the ported number is billed to), and this has caused a serious glitch, since the port information now must be resent to Verizon. However, the AT&T representative assured me that "it will work since we can issue you a temporary number."

I hand the phone back to Mike who spends about 15 more minutes on the phone before putting his hand over the mouthpiece and stating, "I'm going to speak with my manager." So after almost two-and-a-half hours, Mike finally decides to escalate the matter to his manager. Two-and-a-half-hours.

Twenty more minutes roll by and Mike appears at my side with Michelle, the senior assistant store manager. Michelle apologizes several times, which at this point means nothing since no atonement is going to make up for the aggravation that has transpired thus far. After yammering on about how sorry she is for the troubles, but not actually providing any customer service, such as why don't you pick out a free accessory, or we're going to wave the activation fee or give you the first month free, or give you a free year of MobileMe, or something, she just decides to pull the plug on this activation attempt.

What??! Michelle tells me that she's going to issue a Claim Tag for the 16GB iPhone 3G, and I can pick it up when AT&T determines my account can be activated.
"How will I know when that happens?"
"Oh, you're going to have to follow up with AT&T on your own, there's nothing we can do for you."

So here's the story for you my dear editor. Six hours of iPhone 3G Hell and no phone, no activation, and no reviews of the latest music apps for the 2.0 operating system.

However, I do have some tips that I've learned so far for anyone out there who is considering getting an iPhone 3G:

1. See if you can sneak on the line, while in the store. Act like you're interested in one of the products near the line and just hang out. If someone on the line complains, simply state: "how about if I get behind you?"
2. If you're porting a number from another carrier or a Land line, make sure it's Active. And make sure that the billing address for your new iPhone account is the same address as the number you want to port.
3. If you think the Apple employee is a rookie or incompetent, ask for a new representative immediately. Apple didn't have any Supervisors at Roosevelt Field that where hovering around in case of problems, so you can't request one. If all else fails, ask for a Store Manager, they won't have a clue on how to actually activate the phone, but you can put the phone on "layaway" and then work it out on "your own" with AT&T.

The Saga Continues: Part 2...