Weekend Fun: Cell Phone Frustration Leads To Tank Rampage

We’ve all been there… You’re so pissed off at your cell phone carrier that you just want to get into your tank, roll down to their nearest cell tower, and show them who’s boss.

Well, an Australian did just that last month except he took out six towers and was headed towards the third when he was finally arrested after a lengthy, but slow chase. The reports out of Melbourne didn’t mention the man’s name or how he come to possess the armored personnel carrier, but those are small details Down Under.


The man was so infuriated with his cell phone provider, that he went on a frenzy through Sydney’s western suburbs. Mount Druitt police Chief Inspector Guy Haberley stated “the 45-year-old man continued to destroy mobile tower communications sheds by crashing through the perimeter fence and colliding with structures, causing significant damage.”

The charges included malicious damage, break and enter, predatory driving, drug possession and driving in a dangerous manner. Somehow the charge of driving a tank through the streets of tract homes was omitted.

The Future: We heard that Apple has installed special concrete barricades at all entrances after the FBI picked up chatter in several cell phone forums that outlined plans by iPhone owners to ram a tank up Steve Job’s behind because the ringer on their Jesus Phone is so low that they never hear it ring… (just kidding…)

Author: FutureMusic

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